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Yesterday and this morning I’ve been looking through a whole bunch of cds I listened to as a child. I wanted to rip the cds I really like onto my computer.
It quite surprised me how many memories seem to have attached themselves to those songs. Not anything specific, just general stuff from that period; the primary school I attended, the people I knew there, etc.

It’s not just music that sends me off down memory lane. Recently, I was clearing out my room and came across all kinds of stuff that had been sitting on shelves for years. There were cups I’d won at judo tournaments, cclay models i’d made at school, souveniers I bought on holidays abroad, and so on.
I suppose it’s partly ‘cos I’m blind, that these tactile objects mean so much to me. I can’t see photos, so these are the things that give me a ‘link’ to the things I’ve done in the past.

It can be a bit of a bugger at times though, especially when I’m supposed to be tidying up. I can end up wasting loads of time listening to old tapes or thinking about the holiday where I bought that particular item.
It also can make throwing stuff out quite hard sometimes. My brain says: ‘you don’t need that and you can use the space for other stuff you do need/use/enjoy’, but there’s always a little voice going: ‘yeah, but that was a favourite toy of mine’ (or something similar).

Maybe it’s ‘cos back then my life was far simpler. I didn’t need to worry about the future and I wasn’t expected to work on my independence. And all those old toys, dolls and whatever reminds me of that time.
Of course, I want to be independent and get somewhere in life, but part of me wishes I could just go back to being that little girl, who had nothing to worry about.


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