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This afternoon, I brought up the possibility of going to see a British comedian, Marcus Brigstocke, live this autumn. Obviously this is in England, so we’d have to travel there and stay at least one night.
Now, I know – and so do my parents – that it’s nobody’s fault that I can’t do this indipendantly, but every time I ask them stuff like this, one part of me always feels like I’m a burdon on them. Afterall, they’re the ones who have to give their time and energy so that I can do these kinds of things.
It also made me realise how dependant I actually am in situations like these. It’s my parents who arrange everything – transport, hotels, etc. And if there hadn’t been any convenient locations or dates to choose from I wouldn’t have been able to go, full stop.

This dependance on others really hacks me off sometimes. Especially when the whole outcome depends on how convenient or not it is for the other person.
I get this all the time at Bartimeus. If I want to go into town for something, I never know until the same day whether anybody will be free to take me. There’s no point asking a member of staff the day before. All they say is: “Well, I don’t know, you’ll have to ask so and so on the day if she’s free”.
This can be really frustrating. If I wasn’t disabled, I could just go shopping when I felt like it, and not be wondering the whole week if there’ll be anyone free to take me on the one free day I get.
And I hate that little voice that keeps saying ‘isn’t that a bit too much to ask of them?’ I know my parents don’t see me that way.

Anyway, we discussed going over to England, and my dad’s promised to have a look at the available dates (he’s on tour right through autumn) and let me know tomorrow. So fingers crossed.
And to that little voice I’d say: bugger that. I’ve got just as much right to do stuff I enjoy as anyone else. And if that means bothering a few people who are only too glad to make me happy, then I’ll do it.


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